in reference to the self

Self-portraiture has always been something I struggled with. When I was getting my BFA I remember the portrait assigmnets and how I used my wit to navagate. I was strugglinh becasue it was particualrly difficult, my Grandfather taught me how to follow the crives and shapes in the face, what was hard was that I had to look at myself.

AND I MEAN LOOK! Staring at my refletion I would start to dissocate, disgust and even hate myself. I wouldnt know who the person I was looking at. So, it did half faces, faces where my eyes were blured,k faces where i delibertly hung it above my eye level so you would ONLY see my eyes. I would do and say anything to not have to paint my full face.

Oh the irony when I entered my second year of my MFA and found it was one of the few things I could do. One of the things I could do to re-humnaize myself after spending so much time creating characters to play in the roles and archtypes of my life.